


Derek The Blue Balling Fuckwad

by kingLATRANS



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, and a lot of immature brain words, but it did, butt touching, this wasnt suppose to continue, tiny feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:37:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingLATRANS/pseuds/kingLATRANS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles' journey towards fresh clothes from a pretty watery shower is interrupted.</p><p>or</p><p>Stiles wanting to get the D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What A Surprise, It's Derek Hale Interrupting The Status Quo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in an attempt of my very first smut some many months ago.  
> Obviously it'd be longer if i didn't chicken out after the second paragraph or so.  
> I'm a pussy, this much is evident

Derek was kneading Stiles' bare ass with sharp fingers, murmuring rough throaty growls of pleasure. And so far, Stiles has no arguments against this wholesome activity, even hoping for it to develop into something with a little more momentum in the lower regions. Preferably with them together. And.... Sex, sex is what he's talking about. There.

 

Stiles let out a breathy moan as the wolf's fingers slowly made their way further toward the promise land. And then just like that, almost like Derek could hear Stiles' devestatingly immature thoughts, nothing was happening anymore. All of that delicious, touchy-feely movement stopped. And Stiles made a dragged sound from it.

But Derek, the blue balling fuckwad, was already halfway through the window.

"HEY! WAIT A SEC-ond. Oh my god." And so that's what happened after he got out of the shower and walked into his own room clad in none but a single towel. And so that's also how Stiles figured he should make a plan to ~*woo*~ the Alpha. As well as carry more than one towel. And that he needs another shower.

 

 

PLEASE DEPOSIT ONE(1) QUARTER TO CONTINUE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, despite the quarter-continuing bit at the end, this will most likely not be continued.  
> You can thank me for that later


	2. To Woo, Or Not To Woo? Probs Not, TBH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles debates the best course of action after that little encounter.
> 
> Warning: No actual Wooing occurs  
> Many apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so, this was never suppose to happen.  
> You can thank CeCe, what a monster.

So maybe Stiles didn't really have to patience for ~*wooing*~ anyone at all, let alone the Alpha. Sue him, he has priorities. And he can still feel those fingers all over down there. And he'd really like to feel them again. This time a little more dedicated to the activity and into things. Things being his ass. Stiles' ass.

 

He really wants that. And yes, he pretty much understood how much of a slut he was the second Derek leapt out of his window like the goddamn quitter he is. He wants nails to rake down his skin, he wants to feel fingertips graze everything inside; he wants Derek Hale all over him. And really, Derek only has himself to blame. Stiles is practically aching for the guy, literally was during his second, way too hot, shower.

 

So yes. After fifteen minutes of tapping the eraser end of a pencil against a still blank piece of college ruled paper, Stiles decides: to hell with it. Because this is a waste of time. He knows what he's gonna do. It'll be simple and upfront. Straight answers. Yeah, sure.


	3. Some People Like It Blunt. People Like Stiles Like It Blunt. A Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's totally cool to compare yourself to Ebola when trying to convince the dude you like to have sex with you, right? Right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last and longest one, thank god.  
> Also, is the title really fitting anymore?

"I WANT YOUR DICK IN MY ASS." He said it. Upfront and simple, right? Apparently Derek wasn't expecting it because he not only spit all of the water he'd had in his mouth, but he dropped the glass, too. Granted Stiles did kind of slam the door open and shout that at the top of his lungs.

 

" _I_ want it there. _You_ want it there; an obvious observation of last night. So let’s do it." He continued before Derek could object. Stiles' hands clapped together, grin spreading Cheshire thin.

 

Derek flinched at the sound. It sort of hurt Stiles' heart to see, but what was worse was the way his face pointed squarely at the ground, his hand previously holding the glass was raised slightly in a loose fist from the surprise but frozen like the rest of him.

"Stiles, you're-"

 

" _Stiles_ is sixteen.” He rolled his eyes before going on, " _Stiles_ is on Adderall, _Stiles_ is skinny and pale, _Stiles_ is pretty attractive to a somewhat gay guy evidently, _Stiles_ would very much like to further engage said guy, and _Stiles_ maybe might have some really deep feelings for said guy."

 

"What,"

 

"Also it doesn't hurt that said guy is both pretty _and_ smart. To an extent- I'm not forgetting that stint with the Haunt." He was making his way to Derek. Slow and steady wins the race. Yes. Totally.

 

"Stiles, I can't. And I really shouldn't. I don't-"

 

"But you do." He was looking at Stiles then, looked almost like pleading. It made him feel like such a dick. To be honest though, despite weird horny teenager things, he really wanted something... more. "And I do too."

 

Derek was this close to moving away until Stiles grabbed his wrist. And, you know, it might not have been the best choice. He can just imagine Derek wrenching his arm off of his body and like, eating it, or something. But he doesn't, he's stock still and looking at Stiles with emotions. Stiles doesn't know how to do anything with emotions.

 

"So, I've been on the internet, as you well know," Derek groans, shifting away more casually than like he's trying to flee. Stiles' thumb smoothed the inside of Derek's wrist softly. "And, everyone seems to think that Werewolves are possessive over things they want. I know Scott got hella aggressive with Jackson about Allison. So, maybe it is true. And, I was thinking, I'd be down with that. Being yours. I'm up for it, I want to be. I want to be yours. Especially if I can get your dick up my ass, please and thank you." He tapered off with a nervous laugh.

 

"I don't think you understand what that means." Derek was loosening up slowly.

 

"Maybe not what it means to you, but I know it mean to me that you're gonna have to deal with me being around a lot more often. Maybe even forever. Actually, probably forever, you're never gonna get rid of me. I'm like a disease. Like Ebola. Except I'm not gonna kill you. Actually nothing like Ebola. I'm just never going to leave. I'll annoy you to hell and back but I'm not leaving."

 

Stiles isn't sure how he does it, but he somehow insinuates himself into Derek's space with Derek's free hand clutching at the side of Stiles' shirt. His grip on Derek's wrist tightens and then there're lips on lips and Stiles moaning and this time Derek doesn't go all Batman disappearing into the night from a window. In fact, he can feel Derek's hands moving down and next thing he knows he's being carried somewhere and Stiles can only assume he's finally going to get that dick in his ass.

 

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry you experienced this.  
> No refunds, though.


End file.
